my online journal

lain using computers
~ serial experiments lain

Hi, I am Suraj Kushwah. I was born in 1999-04-20.
Today's date - 2022-11-24.
What you are reading is my entire life's journey. I am writing all this as a proof of my existence. my emotions, my feelings, my views, my ideas and my experiences. According to philosophical concepts like - epistemology and idealism - existence need witnesses, reality is related to mind. This is why, I want you to know - I existed. I was sad at this day, I was happy on that day. Anyone around the world can be aware of my existence, even after I die. Yes ofc, one day I will sure die, not sure when. Day by day people will forget me. My life will become just a blip in cosmic calender. But thanks to internet even 1000 years after my death, someone can look into my existence. Someone just like me.

# 2022.12.10 Saturday am 00:21

it's time to do something, something big, something which makes me happy i can't live like this, i need to go out. from this day, no AOE2, no windows, I deleted it. No BS talks with any person. It's time to go underground and find a job in europe. I will do whatever it takes. and I won't stop until I get in.

# 2022.12.09 Friday am 00:02

I watch 1987. It was beautiful. I loved it. It was hard to download it. Because I was a rare movie, Someone in my discord help me to download it. The movie file got some issues. I want to fix it and upload it on youtube, so anyone can watch it in future. Also, Nandita one of my classmate made me unfollow her. I don't know the right term. She uploaded a picture of her group. I wrote a joke in her comment. She lacks humor. I went to Himanshu house today. It was okay. I had a good talk. I spend my entire day just talking. I had a talk with Arpit and Aishna. weird.

# 2022.12.08 Thursday am 00:44

yesterday I filled my newsboat with european job boards rss feeds. also some other content. I am seriously looking for this. I also felt doing devops job might be the best role for me (looking at current situation). I also showed "Everything Everywhere All At Once" to shivam. he liked it. But haven't watched the explaination video. My cold is over today I went to gym. I also had a talk with pystar today, he advised me grammarly to improve my english. I want to improve my english. Not just for europe job but also because this makes me feel good.

# 2022.12.05 Monday pm 23:06

Here's what happen since my last entry.

  • Akash called me and adviced me to create a channel like Kunal Kushwaha (some stupid normie tech youtube with 300k subs). I got options between europe job, company, youtube.
  • I got little sick (cold it is).
  • Also I finally setup my newboat, did some important with pywal. Awesome it is.
  • Akash, Shivam and I watch one mythic quest episode.
  • I just watched "Everything Everywhere all at Once". Brovo movie. Quite relatable, visuals were awesome. I am just thinking about it right now.

# 2022.12.04 Sunday am 01:00

Akash call woke me up at 1pm (he should die). I went to sleep at 6:30am. Last night I uploaded a cool meme "Linux users are freetards". I also taught kashish about newsboat and XDG_USER_BASE Dir. My life is just getting more and more boring, I am not doing anything. I also skipped gym today (leg day it was). Because shivam decided to play game with kakashi. I looked at him. his temptation to play, I think me and everyone around me is just a failure. I know life isn't a race, people should just chill, but world isn't fair. It's shit for us already. IDK should I fight and get better life. or just give up and live in fantasy just like shivam.

# 2022.12.02 Friday pm 23:02

yesterday, I released a video about ads are evil, I also continued my work on bugsnavi, I also went to mall with Akash (1 burger at buger king). We discussed lots of things, I was talking a lot about why ads are bad ads. I think, I should move on do some work like making portfolio, also focus on my gym. This gym thing is just stopping me from doing anything. I think I should first gain some weight and then move out from this place.

# 2022.11.30 Wednesday pm 23:41

I taught linux file permissions to Kashish (my online student), after that I recorded a video on individualism, but I felt weird after uploading it. My ideas were not clear. I wasted entire night on this, video is deleted now. 1 hour ago, I just finished playing 3 hour AOE 2 game. We lost the match. Right now, I am talking with Akash, I am planning to write a cron job for instaloader. I gave my instagram account password to Akash, So I don't waste my time. He will do post for me.

# 2022.11.29 Tuesday pm 23:06

Last night, I learned about linux file permissions. I spend my day time mostly with OneAboveAll, wasted time teaching him about file permissions. I think it's time I should start with some real work.

# 2022.11.28 Monday pm 23:12

I just came back from a stupid dinner with my friends at 28.34702, 79.42193. Boredom can cost you Rs 3.5k within 2 hours, food was ordinary. But obviously this was not about food. I also spend some time explain oneaboveall that he should focus on his career. What else? I am thinking about applying for some foreign remote jobs. Especially in Europe side. I also called appy in the morning just to rant my issues. My life is just dumb. Lets hope for something exciting.